Dark clouds roamed around United Kingdom yesterday as the results were out. More people chose to leave the EU instead of staying. I’ve heard about Brexit before, but little that I know such decision can cause so much damage to a country, as powerful as UK.  I’ve googled about it yesterday, and the more I read, the more my heart aches. I feel sorry for the youths most because they are going to live for the decisions others made for them. The pound dropped drastically yesterday, they estimated UK loss about 350 million pound as the markets dropped out from their business in UK. Thus, in the future, higher chances will causes inflation and sorts. Again, this is all based on what I’ve read.

I may not know much about politics in UK, I may not know what’s best and what’s not but the voices that weren’t heard, that saddens me most.

Their future are at stake and I think mine is too. You see, I’m an inches away from enrolling to UK universities this September. I’ve already had the conditional offer. All I need to do is make sure my results are above par and I’m good to go. This is my dream. I’ve been dreaming about UK for almost 2 years now. Even though I may have my backup plan, giving up your long life dream is painful. That thought kept me awake yesterday and I couldn’t sleep. That kind of anxiety rushed through my body and it is as if I felt what some British are feeling right now.

They say Brexit only affects the economics, not the education and sorts. But what about the consequences after the drop of economical growth? The inflation? They said it wouldn’t affect the education UK provides as it is one of the most highly rated education in the world but as time passed, would the tuition fee stays the same now that the pounds dropped? Would an international student like me stand a chance to even enroll for industrial placement anymore?

And what about the debt I will returned to after I graduate? The reality is painful to bear but I guess God knows best. If it wasn’t UK for me, I guess, I may have to accept it with an open heart.

Best wishes to UK. My heart is with all of you.

A little challenge

My body clock now is really messed up now. I slept around 10/11 and woke up around 2 and stayed up since then. Haha that had quite made me a morning person. The problem is, I hate showering in the morning even if I’m up and about or happy or crazily hyperactive that morning. Honestly, I hate it. So much. I only showers in the morning when I’m back in college becaaause well, class starts at 8. What a bummer. But then again, on weekends, I am back to my usual self again.

But that does not mean I dont shower for the whole day, DUH. I showered only when its 12 in the afternoon or when its almost time for Zohor prayer. Procrastinator, call me I am.

So now that I’m on my semester break,my comfort zone as though calling me to slacks off and procrastinate some more and last week, boy was it the worst week ever. I slacks off so so much. I’m in my bed at 12 trying to sleep with hope that I can woke up again early in the morning to study or something. As I’m letting myself to doze off, there’s just this feeling that kept me up. I couldn’t sleep until it was 4/5 in the morning. It goes on about the whole week. At first it was okay, but then my body cant tolerate with my body clock and decides to shut down against me. I’m then tired, super cranky and emotional and selfish and the list goes on.

This week, I tried to balance it all out again.

But this time, I decide to improvise it a lil bit. Here’s to shower in the morning!


I started yesterday. Hehe and it felt good! As a motivation for me to get my ass in the bathroom, I decided to go for a run on the treadmill.


So that I’ll sweat. Hence, there will be a reason for me to shower, yes?

HEHE smartypants. *grins*

Anyway, yesterday I ran for 1.8km for 15 minutes.

Today, 3km for 30 minutes!

I’m the most laziest person in this world when it comes to jogging. When I did 3km today, it felt great! An achievement, it is. Hehe.

Thus the challenge I’m giving myself, is to run at least 2km a day starting today and I’ll raise the bar, gradually. Hopefully, I get to be persistent in this little challenge hihi.



First attempt on studyblr.

I came across studyblr when I was on tumblr scrolling down the dashboard. Studyblr is like a tumblr where you post all that you would like to share abt your studies, ranging from class notes, exams tips to the stationeries you’re using and easy doodles to do to make ur notes interesting!
Idk about you, but for me, studyblr makes studying fun!
I usually make long notes and tried to crammed everything in my head and when it comes to the exam day, bam. I lost it all ha ha ha.

Quality over quantity, kays please. #lessonoftheday

Anyway, I have this habit from back when I was sitting for SPM, I love taking pictures of me studying. Not the damn selfies ofcourse, bookfies…? Hahaha the books, the notes and my surroundings when I’m studying. The reason why is simply because I believe that hardwork pays. And these will all be the token of my struggles and the hardships I’ve been thru. That one day I’ll be able to proudly pat myself in the back saying, “You made it!” and that, my friend, would be the best feeling evahhh.

One year, and counting!


As you all know, Star Wars has just released The Force Awaken last December 17th. It was the day that many fans of Star Wars from way back 70’s to 90’s that are so stoked with this new movie! Trailers that have been released earlier had left us, Star Wars fandom with so many questions like


No kidding, this was all thats been going through my mind when I first watched the trailer. I thought I was not being a somewhat alert of those previous sequels that I almost have no clue of what The Force Awaken is about.

I thought of going to the movie on the first day it was released but somehow the plan just got delayed and delayed until today. The thought of watching The Force Awaken without my dad is unfortunate because, its because of him that me amir and abang is a fan of Star Wars. Really. Because Ayah is a big fan of Star Wars and we used to have these hard-covered books containing loads of infos about the movies. The planes, the ships, the Stardestroyers, you name it, we have it. Heck, we even own a Star Wars encyclopedia. Haha beat that! But nah we didnt collect those figuree and all, we opt for the infos and more beneficial ones, ceh! (Just kidding, we just happen to have a lots of Star Wars book at home)

So, where was I again? Ah, I’ll just tell you the parts I love in this movie. The ones that currently bothering my mind and disrupt my sleep if I dont get this off my chest.


Ok, so the movie starts with an army of Stormtroopers getting ready for a battle in Jakoo. Amir and I literally shook each other off out of excitement. Plus,the scene where Kylo Ren walking out the ship give me creeps man, seriously. Its brings out the arrival of Darth Vader kind of vibe.. I guess.

Next,the part where Finn and Rey tried to escape from Jakoo because of the Stormtroopers, where they found MILLENIUM FALCON. IT WAS THE FIRST HIGHLIGHT THAT I SWORE I LOVE MOST :DDDD And hola it was just the beginning. When Rey flew the Millenium Falcon, it is as though, nothings change. Like, everythings change but nothings really change. The hyperdrive that always gets in the way, haha I mean nothings really been smooth for the Millenium Falcon but hey isnt she the tough one? Anyway, when it was out of power and the moment Finn thought it was currently taken by The First Order, SURPRISEEEEEEE! Theres Chewie and HANS SOLO. Ugh, the feels that they put from scenes to scenes… really…. I was taken away instantly.

Also, the part where they met Maz in i-dont-remember-what-planet-it-is, the part when Rey heard the little voices and accidentally touched Luke’s lightsaber and all the memories going through and suddenly theres Kylo Ren trying to kill her and all, from that instant I knew it! I knew Finn is not the next Jedi or anything. The trailer just wants us to believe he is. Blergh. Ok so that part was something. I believe I’m getting a fragment of the whole picture.


So next, the part where Kylo Ren tried to get the map of Luke’s whereabouts from Rey. As a Jedi or someone with the power of the Force, in case you dont know, they can control minds of the weak minded ones. So he wanted to do the same to Rey in order to get access of the map. And this is where interesting happen, Kylo took off his helmet and there we can see his face. His long hair reminds me of Anakin, though. I miss Anakin 😦 OK so he tried so hard but not that he knows that little miss Rey right here, she also have the powers of the Force. So he went off to see Snoke to beg him to let him finish his lessons on the Dark Side.

Fast forward, Rey got away. Finn, Hans and Chewie on the mission to disengage the powerful and the ever destructive weapon that blew the 3 planets at one time. They got away. But somehow the Resistance are losing, and they had to do something. So they plan to blew the entire thing off with charges they have. And this scene is where the father and the son reunites. Presenting, Solo and Kylo Ren or his actual name, Ben! Anyway that scene really got me to the core because I thought he could really be pulled again to the Light. To the good side la. But instead….. he killed him. His own father. If you watch this movie, then you’ll know why.

The final scene got me all swelled up with tears 😥 With Hans death, Leia and Rey just hugging each other without no words have been said, and R2D2 finally being activated after a long time and finally, revealed Luke’s whereabout, its just filled with these emotions I cant even describe haaah they got me. By the time they reached the Jedi’s Temple, in my head I was like, come on faster, when will this walking ends because it feels like forever, I swear! So by the time he reached the top, there he was. Luke Skywalker.

Haih there was no words spoken, heck he doesnt even have any line in this movie but, as I say, like most scenes, its just somewhat filled the silence with emotions. There I was, emotional yet again relieved cause he’s alive. But then again, he’s old already and I was in tears at this moment. Oh my god, I mean, haih how long does it been since the last Star Wars? They really really did a great job appreciating the old characters while introducing the new ones. Hah. Perfect ending that makes us, I mean me, wanting more and more.


Eh ok chill chill. Haha afterall, less is more, right?

Patience, young Padawan.

Ok, so this is all about it. I initially wanted to write a short post of scenes that I liked, but nah I almost covered the whole story though -_-

Sorry for the spoilers, again. And for fandoms out there, do share your love here! ❤

How long have it been?

It took me a while to even write a paragraph haish haha. I’ve completely forgotten how to write as it has been months since i write. Heck, my latest post even posted 6 months ago.

Well, for starter, I am on my second week of my semester break. Pretty much explains why I’m back here again.

Actually, this six months felt like forever. So many things had happened and not even the closest one knows how much pain I’m suffering, but at the same time, makes me realized how much of it was actually blessings in a disguise.

The reality is indeed giving its bitch slap that I was hit hard in life. But that kind of sort some things on my mind a lil bit, my priorities for instance.

Ever since the incident, my priorities shifted a lot and the whole experience kinda matures me so um yep.

I actually wrote a post during that worst time of my life. ((because writing is usually easier when you’re wrecked))

But I saved it as a draft because when I read it back, I realized how much personal it was and there i was, bawling my eyes out over again.

Of fears of losing someone that is real close to you. Like, legit close.


Death can be quite a shocker dont you think?

Even if you saw it coming, it still feel so surreal.

The kind that keeps you up at night regretting the fact that you didnt even get to say goodbye.

The feel that makes you shiver down your spine when you realize you could lose anyone in the blink of an eye.

The thought that makes you cringe that you wanted everyone on your own but simultaneously kept a distance, so that you think you wont get hurt that way.

So, how long have it been since we last talked?



in depth

semalam tazkirah pasal saudara-saudara Islam kita dekat Gaza, Syria, Palestin sana. pasal permasalahan ummah yang tak ramai ambil tahu, (even aku), pasal apa yang dorang kena hari hari while kita dekat sini? aman damai dalam ramadan.

apa yang ditunjukkan semalam the videos shared are, how the reality is there.

disepak terajang apabila menegakkan kalimah tauhid “la ila haillallah”. ditanam hidup hidup apabila enggan mengakui bashar as tuhan. (sebab fahaman syiah, diorang anggap Allah menjelma dalam diri bashar al assad) dibaling gas beracun yang sampai harini masih lagi tersisa disana. yang melumpuhkan saraf2 dalam masa yang sekejap.

yesterday i watched my brothers and sisters dying in the hands of bashar al assad.

even on the screen, yet the feeling is so real. its reality, my darling, cant you see? as we lay our heads on our comfy pillow, they struggled to even have a place to stay.

houses, mosques, schools were bombed, my friends.

orang yang di dalam masjid yang tengah solat, dipukul, ditikam, ditembak, dibunuh macam tu saja. sebab apa? dorg tknak benarkan umat islam solat.

on the other note, anak anak dikelar macam kelar ayam. mana salahnya anak2 dalam kes ni?

cant you see the reality now? up until now, the war is still happening and over this 4 years, almost 350,000 people died. 1600 mosques bombed. this is syria, the land of once filled with para ulama’ dan sahabat2 nabi dahulu. tempat bertapaknya mereka, tempat dakwah mereka.

now? warisan2 mereka juga sudah di runtuhkan, sudah di bom. idk if they had any more of the peninggalan of the past.

i stared at my food this morning and i wondered if they have any.
have they eat sahur? do they have anything to eat? are they safe?
this is questions you have to keep in mind, fellow friends.
this is your brothers and sisters in Islam.

masyarakat rohingyas yang diusir dari negaranya sendiri. do we remember them?
yes, they were on the front page of our newspaper back then.
yes, do you remember?
mereka itu diusir, bukan memilih untuk pergi dari negara sendiri.
direjam, dibakar hidup hidup.
kita kata kesian, tapi di mana kita?

aku kalau boleh taknak cakap pasal perasaan sebab aku tau aku akan hanyut dengan perasaan.
haih but i was so emotionally affected yesterday.
i want them to be as free as I am right now.
i want them to have the freedom to study, to eat and to live peacefully.
but it comes to my realization that these kids and people of syrias, they died as syahids and the reward for them is Jannah. what can you ask for more? this world is nothing for them, cant you see? but we on the other hand, strive so much for ourselves, for this dunia, and forgot the land of akhirat.

May Allah give them strength to live on and fight for the path of Allah.

our time will come,
but when the time comes,
will we be ready?


Ustaz banyak cakap, yang kita kena bangga sangat sangat kita jadi tetamu-tetamu Allah, buat solat berjemaah, solat terawih dan dikurniakan dalam hati untuk berbuat baik di bulan yang mulia ini. Thats what Ramadan is all about. Memperbaiki hati, memperbaiki diri untuk insan yang hina ini.

Kita ni tak lari dari dosa. Contohnya, aku. Aku masih lagi banyak complain sana sini, masih lagi mencari fun pada duniawi, masih lagi terikat dengan rasa mahu disayangi.

I dont want to talk about past, i want to talk about now.

Peluang diberi melimpah ruah, takkan nak biar diri sendiri kalah?

Kalah dengan nafsu. Kalah dengan diri sendiri. Kalah pada syaitan. Bila kita kalah, destinasi akhir kita ke mana? Akhirat sana, disoal. Analoginya bila diri mengalah itu seperti menempah tiket ke neraka sana.

And we both know better how it will end there 😦 worst kind of punishment nauzubillahiminzalik

However, tiket ke syurga pulak tak mudah untuk diraih, kesayangans. Rocky road awaits. Nak ke syurga, susah. Sebab benda yang susah tu, berharga. Jannah itu dipenuhi dengan perkara-perkara yang indah, dihiasi dengan bidadari bidadara cantik, mahligai-mahligai dan istana-istana buat kita. Dan nikmat yang paling terbesar di syurga ialah dapat melihat wajah tuhan kita, wajah Allah Azza Wajalla. Now can you tell me, whats even better than that?

What is greater than seeing the face of our creator,kan? :\

The names were already written, and I hope mine is there. Amin.

Ramadan ya Kareem, everyone. 🙂